Anybody who knows me knows that I am pretty much obsessed with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and I ritually use it as a basis of understanding the people in the world around me. I myself happen to be an INFP, aka "The Dreamer" or "The Idealist".
Recently, a close friend asked me if I liked being an INFP, to which I quickly responded "No". Quite honestly, being an INFP is often a painful and lonesome experience. I described it as putting your heart on an anvil daily, waiting for people standing in a line to come smash it only for you to pick up the remnants, reassemble them into a heart again, and prepare for the morning, where more people stand with eager hammers. An exaggeration perhaps, but nonetheless relevant.
Recently, a close friend asked me if I liked being an INFP, to which I quickly responded "No". Quite honestly, being an INFP is often a painful and lonesome experience. I described it as putting your heart on an anvil daily, waiting for people standing in a line to come smash it only for you to pick up the remnants, reassemble them into a heart again, and prepare for the morning, where more people stand with eager hammers. An exaggeration perhaps, but nonetheless relevant.
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| I'm just a special snowflake. |
I think that the most frustrating aspect of being INFP is the ridiculously high standards that you hold others to as the byproduct of the even higher standards you hold for yourself. You try to be as caring and loving as possible, but when it comes to people, INFP's tend to go the extra mile, and when others don't, you're left disillusioned and hurt. Why can't people feel the things I do at the intensity I do?
I realize all of this makes me sound like a victim, which is not my intent. We all have our weaknesses, but being an INFP in and of itself feels like a weakness. It's hard to say no, it's hard to criticize others, it's even harder to take criticism (real or imagined), it's hard to be practical in the world and deal with harsh realities when you are always living in a dreamy daze.
If nothing else, it's an interesting experience and I feel it has helped me be a unique individual who sees the world in a different light. I've met a cornucopia of fascinating people along the way, and am blessed to have them in my life. I've learned so much from the people around me. I suppose an open mind and gentle heart are some of the benefits of being an INFP... heh, see it's not all bad!
I realize all of this makes me sound like a victim, which is not my intent. We all have our weaknesses, but being an INFP in and of itself feels like a weakness. It's hard to say no, it's hard to criticize others, it's even harder to take criticism (real or imagined), it's hard to be practical in the world and deal with harsh realities when you are always living in a dreamy daze.
If nothing else, it's an interesting experience and I feel it has helped me be a unique individual who sees the world in a different light. I've met a cornucopia of fascinating people along the way, and am blessed to have them in my life. I've learned so much from the people around me. I suppose an open mind and gentle heart are some of the benefits of being an INFP... heh, see it's not all bad!
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| You have no idea. |
I suppose I should be happy with the way I am. Still... there's a part of me that dreams about what it would be like to see this world through another pair of eyes. I suppose that's just a part of being INFP.
My type indicator is MILF
ReplyDeleteI, too, am an INFP, that's what brought me here. Interestingly enough, most of my friends, or at least the ones who took the test, are „IN“-People (INTP, INTJ and INFJ). Is it the same with your friends?
ReplyDeleteI also have the feeling that INFPs might intersect a great deal with Highly Sensitive Persons.
Hi there, thanks for reading my post. INFP's unite! :)
DeleteAs it turns out, almost all of my friends are IN-people. Certainly it varies, but most of the closest people to me in my life are INFP's, INFJ's and INTJ's. I have VERY few Extrovert friends.
Many of my friends are very sensitive and deep people. I've found that the most difficult people to understand as far as I'm concerned are "S" people. To me, they seem very surface level, and it's hard to delve deep into their personality and understand where they are coming from. Both my father and mother are an ISTP and ISFJ respectively, and while I love them both dearly, there is a certain disconnect between us when it comes to lifes deeper issues; they are both so pragmatic that I feel they find me quite naive and idealistic when I share my ideas. It's frustrating. Do you have this problem as well?
I look forward to hearing from you. I hope you'll continue to read my blog! :)
Bobby